learning that it's okay.

Even though I make mistakes and even though I'm lazy, thank goodness that God remains God.  Thank you God that Your love for me is not dependent on my works or my actions.  Thank you that I am considered righteous not because of anything I did, but only on Jesus.

Praise God that He is so much bigger than me.

Ïf we are faithless, He remians faithful-for He cannot disown Himself. -2nd Timothy 2:13

evidence of God's greatness.

I'm not going to lie, this past week was a battle.  But, God is ever so victorious and His timing is impeccable.

I had ideas to quit support-raising and just drop out of the program.  I was so discouraged and caught up in my works: I felt guilty that I had not done my part.  Why would God bless me if I hadn't done anything?

Thursday night.  God led me to pray.  He beckoned me in to pray.  It was amazing.  He taught me that I am able to ask God for my desires only because of Jesus.  If I stand on my own righteousness, I fall short.  If I stand on my own works, I fall short.  I am unable.  But God looks at me and sees Jesus.  I can boldly stand in front of God because of Jesus Christ.

Praise God that He is bigger than my laziness, fear and everything.  Praise God.  He led me to pray.  He taught me how to pray boldly.  I cried out to God on Thursday that I am unworthy, but I stand before God washed in Jesus' blood.  I can ask of God my desires because I am clean and I am His daughter.  And I declared: God, you need to move because I cannot do it.  You need to move and give me $1500 because Your glory needs to be seen.  People need to see, I need to see, that God you are so much bigger than my mistakes.  You still love us despite our mistakes.  You still love us even if I don't follow my promises and day to day plans.  You have already redeemed us.  Just as Moses demanded to see the glory of God, I was taught that we can do that too.  God wants us to seek Him for everything.

Praise God.

On Friday night:

$500: I met with this friend on Thursday out of the blue.  She wanted to meet with me.  And I was struggling that day, and without meaning to, I spilled out everything.  How I felt, what I was going through, that I was so tired of having to have faith.  At the end, my Spirit despite it all still wanted to Praise God.  I said to her, "I don't want pity, God is still good."  That was not me.  That was Holy Spirit.  She tells me to give her a support letter, but I didn't think about it.  I didn't think that she would or could.  She would tell me later that during our conversation, she was convicted by God to support me.  That night, she contacted her mom and shared her conviction.  They hung up and prayed.  After prayer, they called each other again, seeing if her mom agreed, and then to how much.  She told me that when they shared the amount that God convicted them with, it was the same: $500.  Friday night, I receive a letter with a verse.

They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the ones who seeks Him. -Lamentations 3:23-25

Inside was $500.


$200: I met with my friend Saturday morning.  He tells me that Friday night, when he was talking to God, he was convicted by God to give.  "I haven't been giving offering at my church.  When I was praying about it, God told me to give the money to you."

It's humbling because its not me.  It's not through pity, it's God touches. Crazy.  Now, I'm so excited. So so excited.

Thursday night: I only had my $200 initial deposit (which is also God's crazy timing story)

Saturday: $900.

God is big. So mighty. So strong.

Majesty, Majesty. Your Grace has found me just as I am, Empty-handed, but alive in your hands.
-Majesty: Delirious?

prayer works.

thank you for praying for me.  in times of struggle, i feel people's prayer for me just working and battling for me.

praise God that He gave us a body of Christ. and praise Him for His mercy :)

God's reminder to me today...

David said to Saul, "Let no on lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him."  Saul replied, " You are not able to go out against this Philistine and fight him; you are only a boy, and he has been a fighting man from his youth."  But David said to Saul, "Your servant as been keeping his father's sheep.  When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth.  When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it.  Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defined the armies of the living God.  The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine."

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.  This day the Lord will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head.  Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel.  All those that are gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's and he will give all of you into our hands." 

-1 Samuel 17: 32-37, 45-47 

I pray that I be that bold so that I declare to my doubts:

This day the Lord will destroy you.  I will receive the needed money and be a part of this summer.  I will proclaim the glory of God through His deliverance through me so that the whole world  will know that there is a God here. All those that are in my life will know that it is not by my intelligence nor my works that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord's and he will give all of you into my hands.

sometimes it's hard

Today is one of those days.  And I just lean on God's shoulders.

my verse of the season: Romans 8:15

 Starting this season, I looked at my situation:
-My parents live in Korea.
-I moved around a lot in high school, so I do not have a home church
-I enrolled late into this program.
-And many more.
To me, I could not imagine how God would move.  I was so stuck in my situation.  I could and did not look beyond my situation.  I had a hard time praying to God about City Project.  God revealed to me it was because I did not ultimately believe that God would give me $4500.  Whenever I heard testimonies of others, I only thought of them as other people's stories.  Not mine.  But our God is good. He told me otherwise.

This past weekend, God revealed to me how I am His daughter.  I am co-heirs with Christ because I am declared free and clean before God.  And with this identity, I can and should and will be bold.  Bold in who God is.  Bold in how much God loves me.  Bold in that when I ask, God hears.  That's why the verse God gave me for the season is so freeing.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry, Abba Father.-Romans 8:15

 Yes, God did not give me a spirit so I once again answer to fear of not being loved or not being worthy, but a spirit of sonship.


I am God's daughter.  I am His princess.  He is my Father.

The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.  now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory.-Romans 8:17

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For every who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened-Matthew 7:7

Please help me believe and live out these truths wholeheartedly Father God.